Bush 'Refuses To Dignify' Mass-Murder Allegations

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Vol 36 Issue 08

Real-Life Family Feud Offers No Fabulous Cash Prizes

LAS CRUCES, NM–Unlike the popular, long-running game show Family Feud, the real-life family feud among members of Las Cruces' DeCinces family does not offer contestants the chance to win exciting cash prizes. "When the hell are you gonna stop undermining every goddamn thing I say in front of the kids?" said Thomas DeCinces, 47, facing off against wife Brenda in the long-running feud, hosted neither by Richard Dawson nor the late Ray Combs. "Kevin and Amy think their father's a fucking joke, thanks to you. And you wonder why I'm out with the guys almost every night." Asked to name something her husband has given her during their 14-year marriage, Brenda said "heartache and misery." The response was the third most popular on the board behind "an alcohol problem" and "that six-inch scar on my throat."

Football Fan Disappointed By 'Super Tuesday'

ROCHESTER, NY–Robert Wychorski, a Rochester-area football fan, expressed disappointment in Super Tuesday, calling it "a pale shadow of Super Sunday." "Man, that completely blew," said Wychorski after watching four hours of Super Tuesday election coverage on CNN. "Where was the spectacular halftime show? Where were the clutch plays? And it wasn't even a close contest." Wychorski, who invited 15 friends over for a Super Tuesday party, said the biggest letdown was the commercials. "I was expecting to see some awesome new ads with special effects, but it was just the same old stuff," he said.

Ex-Marine Says This Rain Nothing

BESSEMER CITY, NC–According to area resident Larry Bohannon, 33, a member of the U.S. Marine Corps for seven years, this rain is nothing. "You call this rain? This ain't rain," Bohannon said to coworker Jeff Smalley, looking out the window of the Jiffy Lube where he now works. "I was stationed in the Philippines back in '93–they had tsunamis that ripped the palm trees right out of the ground." Continued Bohannon: "We'd do 400 push-ups every morning, even at the height of monsoon season. There'd be 50-foot waves crashing over us, but Sgt. Culpepper would make us keep going. Believe me, Jeff, you've never seen rain like that."

Fox Voluntarily Removes Reality From Programming

LOS ANGELES–Responding to public outcry over its controversial reality-based shows, Fox announced Monday that it is removing all reality from its programming. "We have heard the American TV viewer's dissatisfaction with reality and pledge never again to air any content that reflects it whatsoever," said Jonathan Quinlan, vice-president of programming for the embattled network. "From now on, Fox dramas and sitcoms will not contain any plotlines that are the least bit realistic, and such reality-based shows as Fox News At Nine will be canceled altogether." Quinlan noted that Ally McBeal will continue unchanged.

The Diallo Verdict

On Feb. 25, four NYPD officers were acquitted in the shooting of Amadou Diallo, a West African immigrant who died a year ago when he was shot 19 times after police mistook his wallet for a gun. What do you think of this controversial acquittal?

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Bush 'Refuses To Dignify' Mass-Murder Allegations

SUNNYVALE, CA–Telling reporters and critics to "stick to the issues that matter," Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush declined to answer questions Monday concerning his alleged involvement in a 1984 Brownsville, TX, mass murder, in which 17 people were ritualistically murdered and skinned.

Bush lashes out at critics who "insist on harping on bygones when Americans are hurting today."

"I will not stoop to discussing that," said Bush during a campaign stop at a Bay Area software-packaging plant. "We've got people across this country without health care, a broken educational system, taxes that are way too high, and all you want to talk about is something that may or may not have happened 16 years ago? I'm sorry, but I find that offensive."

The Bush campaign has found itself increasingly dogged by what is being dubbed "The Mass-Murder Issue." On April 3, 1984, 17 members of Children Of The Fold, a fringe religious group, were found brutally murdered in the basement of the Brownsville apartment building they used as their temple. The bodies were badly mutilated, many with skin removed, and numerous severed legs were nailed to a wall in the configuration of a seven-pointed star, the cult's symbol. Many of the victims' hearts and brains were cut out.

Bush, who lived in the same neighborhood as the sect and reportedly attended several of its meetings, disappeared the night of the slayings and resurfaced three days later, saying that he had "taken a trip to clear his head." A pen from Bush's oil company was found to have been used as a gouging tool in a victim's eye socket, and bloody footprints at the scene were found to match a pair of Bush's shoes. The future governor of Texas was never formally charged, and in October 1984, after a six-month investigation, the case was ruled a mass suicide.

The issue leapt to the fore again on March 1, when, during a campaign stop in Cheektowaga, NY, Bush lashed out at a reporter who asked if he would "ever directly address these lingering allegations once and for all."

"Now look," Bush said, "I've been asked about this repeatedly the past few months, and I'm going to say this once and for all: This campaign is about tax reform, it's about strengthening our military, and it's about restoring our nation's traditional core values. This has nothing to do with some terrible, unfortunate event that certain opponents of mine are saying I was involved in nearly 20 years ago."

The grim 1984 murder scene.

Bush then reiterated his hardline anti-mass-murder stance. "I abhor mass murder. I find it morally repugnant and deeply reprehensible," Bush said. "Of all the major presidential candidates, I have taken the strongest public stance on this issue, speaking out against it time and time again over the years. And, if elected president, I will do continue to do everything in my power to bring this issue to the fore."

Despite the remarks, Bush was again pressed on the issue two days later during a stop in Springfield, MA. Asked by a Boston Globe reporter to explain the bite marks on three of the victims that perfectly matched Bush's dental records, the candidate said: "Look, you guys, I'm just not going to get in the gutter with you and play that game. If you're interested in slinging mud, that's fine, but you can count me out. The voters of America want to hear me talk about my plan for sustained, long-term economic growth, not about whose face I supposedly ate years before I became involved in politics."

According to political pundits, Bush's dodging of the mass-murder question has damaged his campaign.

"When Bush refuses to answer one way or the other, he comes off as a shady politician who cannot be trusted," said Robert Novak of CNN's The Capital Gang. "He also comes off as an insane mass murderer who kills lots of people and eats them."

Even before his latest round of remarks, Bush's credibility was tarnished. On Jan. 20, during a radio interview on Pittsburgh's KDKA, he said he has "not committed a single mass murder in the past 16 years"–just one day after making a similar comment mentioning 15 years.

Novak said that at this point, Bush would better off coming clean with any wrongdoing.

"Hiding the truth, in many ways, does more harm to Bush than simply confessing to the slayings would," Novak said. "A lot of voters feel he could bolster his campaign by admitting his guilt, expressing regret, and moving on. The way he's running the campaign now, he comes off as disingenuous and secretive. No one wants that in a president."

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