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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Bush Tearfully Addresses Nation After Watching Field Of Dreams

WASHINGTON, DC—Moments after watching a TNT afternoon showing of the 1989 sports tearjerker Field Of Dreams Sunday, a visibly moved President Bush interrupted national television broadcasts to address the nation. "My fellow Americans, I am telling you, we all must see this movie together," said a moist-eyed Bush, whose voice broke several times during the address. "I don't usually cry during movies, but... well, when I bought the Texas Rangers, I had hoped baseball could bring me and my dad together, but he was always too busy being president, and he's getting up there now, and... America just really needs to see this movie, is all." Two-thirds of Americans polled said they would not watch the film with the president, complaining that Bush tries to recite every line along with the movie, and always says, "Wasn't that great?" after his favorite parts.

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