CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
WASHINGTON—Deputy Secretary of Agriculture Charles F. Conner told reporters Tuesday that he plans to meet later this week with President George W. Bush down in the holler, just up over to the crick, where it's sometimes hard to tell where the fireflies end and the stars begin. "I done tole George we need to talk 'bout that $37 billion farm bill he's fixing to veto," said Conner, who last met with Bush in June under them big ol' oak bluffs, back when it felt like summer stretched clear on out to forever. "Seems to me he oughtn't be lettin' it become law on account of it containin' increased crop-loan rates and target prices. I tell ya, though, that boy do go on sometimes." The president could not be reached for comment as he was out 'round back the shed making all kinds of ruckus with them hound dogs he loves so much.