Bush Told To Sign Birthday Treaty For Someone Named 'Kyoto'

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Vol 44 Issue 34

Bigfoot Corpse A Fraud

Members of Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. said they had been tricked into buying a fake sasquatch body from an ex-policeman. What do you think?
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Bush Told To Sign Birthday Treaty For Someone Named 'Kyoto'

WASHINGTON—Enlisted by members of the House and Senate, presidential aide Rebecca Tandy brought a copy of the international climate-change treaty to President Bush's desk Monday and asked him to sign a birthday document for a Japanese dignitary named "Kyoto Protocol." "Mr. Protocol really likes treaties, so we got him this treaty instead of a card, so if you could just—all the other countries have already signed it," a nervous Tandy reportedly said to Bush, who quickly scrawled his signature on the treaty and told her to tell Kyoto he said "hi." "And now, if you could just initial here, and here, and here, and, oh, you can ignore all that stuff about sulfides. That's just an inside joke." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi later attempted to get Bush to sign a "bar mitzvah stop-use agreement" for the son of Mr. and Mrs. Ben Clusterbomb.

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