Bush Urges Iraqis To Pass Amendment Banning Gay Marriage

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Vol 44 Issue 26

Right To Own Guns Upheld

In its first interpretation of the Second Amendment in 80 years, the Supreme Court overturned Washington D.C.'s gun ban, stating that Americans had the right to own handguns. What do you think?

George Takei To Wed Partner

Following California's legalization of gay marriage, George Takei, best known as Sulu on Star Trek, has applied to marry his longtime partner....
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  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Bush Urges Iraqis To Pass Amendment Banning Gay Marriage

BAGHDAD—In a private meeting with Mohammed Bahr al-Ulloum, President Bush urged the Iraqi Governing Council president to amend the recently ratified Iraqi constitution to protect the sanctity of heterosexual marriage. "The Iraqi constitution, signed just a few short weeks ago, will usher in a new era of democratic freedom in Iraq," Bush said. "But there are some unlawful and unholy acts that the constitution's original drafters could not have possibly intended to protect." Bush then told al-Ulloum he must act quickly and decisively to preserve his country's most sacred tradition.

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