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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Businessman Goes Home For The Holidays To Network With Family

NEW YORK—Emphasizing the importance of “developing contacts and getting your name out there,” sales coordinator Keith Elliott told reporters on Tuesday that he was traveling home to Ohio for the holidays to put in some solid networking time with his family. “Christmas is a great opportunity for me to really work the room, and I’m hoping to make some big contacts, especially on my mom’s side of the family,” said Elliott, who mentioned that he would “definitely try to get in some good face time” with his dad, who works in retail. “You just never know which sibling or nephew might have an ‘in’ for you somewhere, so it’s really important to cultivate personal, win-win relationships with all of them.” Elliott added that he planned on enclosing his business card in his gift to his second cousin Steven Brolin, who reportedly “knows some of the higher-ups over at a Fortune 500 company.”

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