Busy, Busy Postindustrial Society

Top Headlines

Recent News

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Busy, Busy Postindustrial Society

It's a fine day in Activeville! Everyone is hustling and bustling around, looking as if they have things to do! But you know what? They actually don't!

Once upon a time, years and years ago, the citizens of Activeville did have many, many things to do—back when Activeville was the #1 manufacturer of chemically synthesized dyes and machine-tooled industrial parts in all of Happyland.

But times changed, and the things the citizens of Activeville did to stay busy moved to other places like Pickletown and Peppermint City. Sometimes these things traveled far, far away from Happyland itself, to places where people speak other languages and did not need to be paid nearly as much.

Now, just about all the people of Activeville can do is drink coffee, shop and earn liberal-arts degrees! Do you live in a place like Activeville, too? Look at these page and see how many things you recognize!

Starbucks Overpriced fashion boutique


Starbucks                  Overpriced fashion boutique

Squad car Hippie


Recent college graduate

Squad car                 &nbsp        &nbsp         Hippie

Recent college graduate

College students, duffle bag, vagabond


Duffel bag         College students   Vagabond


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close