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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Butler Bulldogs Inspire Thousands Of Tall, Goony-Looking Midwestern Dorks

INDIANAPOLIS—Butler's Final Four appearance—its second in as many years—has inspired and energized not only the state of Indiana but thousands of tall, awkward, acne-riddled Midwestern dopes who reportedly see a lot of themselves in the Division I basketball team. "The Bulldogs aren't just a mid-major surprise anymore—they're the real deal," one lanky, bucktoothed 16-year-old goof told reporters Friday. "It just goes to show that you can make something of yourself even if you're gangly, uncoordinated, and mostly made of elbows and knees. With an oversized head. And really droopy eyes. And pasty skin with weird freckles. And no friends." Similarly, in Virginia, the bold, charismatic leadership of VCU's head coach Shaka Smart has inspired two people with the first name Shaka.

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