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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Butler Doesn't Understand What They Have To Do To Get Out Of Indiana

INDIANAPOLIS—Members of the Indianapolis-based Butler University basketball team, which defeated top-seeded Syracuse on its way to the school's first-ever Final Four, wondered aloud Wednesday what more they had to accomplish to finally get the hell out of Indiana. "We've won 24 games in a row now, a longer streak than anyone else, and in recognition we get to travel where? To New York? To Los Angeles? No. Across town," Butler star Gordon Hayward said during a press conference. "How am I supposed to motivate and inspire my teammates? We've excelled at the game, and our reward is to be trapped in this armpit? My only consolation is that the three visiting teams get to see how lousy some schools have it." Hayward, an Indiana native, ended the press conference early and left without comment when told an Indiana Pacers scout would be attending the Bulldogs' game against Michigan State.

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