adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

Buying Someone A Drink

When you see someone you're interested in during a night out, it's common to buy them a drink. Here are some etiquette guidelines to consider before you make your move:

  • If the person's current drink is not quite gone, wait until it's completely finished before dumping the one you just bought into their glass.
  • Never slide a drink to someone farther than 16 stools down the bar.
  • Don't forget to give the person a copy of the check, that way they'll know exactly how much to reimburse you.
  • While it'd be pretty cool to wait until a song on the jukebox about buying someone a drink came on before walking up to the person and singing along with the words, don't wait too long for that to happen. There aren't really many songs like that.
  • If you are at a popular chain restaurant, remember that in addition to a drink, it's also customary to buy the person a basket of loaded potato skins.
  • If you do not receive the attention you want from the drink recipient, be sure to request that they give the drink back so you can pass the unconsumed portion on to the next most attractive person at the bar.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings