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Cable-TV Judge Overruled By Network-TV Judge

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Cable-TV Judge Overruled By Network-TV Judge

NEW YORK—A pro-plaintiff decision by Judge Joseph Wapner of Animal Planet's "Animal Court" was overturned Monday upon appeal to Judge Joe Brown of the eponymous syndicated network program. "Although the general spirit of the law states that owners of dogs are responsible for their dogs' actions, there is clearly evidence of provocation on the victim's part," Brown wrote in his decision in the precedent-setting case "Dog Bites Man." "Now don't give me that eye." Losing plaintiff Oscar Croydon refused to concede defeat in the case, vowing, "I'll take this to the highest ratings bracket in the land if I have to."

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