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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Cable-TV Judge Overruled By Network-TV Judge

NEW YORK—A pro-plaintiff decision by Judge Joseph Wapner of Animal Planet's "Animal Court" was overturned Monday upon appeal to Judge Joe Brown of the eponymous syndicated network program. "Although the general spirit of the law states that owners of dogs are responsible for their dogs' actions, there is clearly evidence of provocation on the victim's part," Brown wrote in his decision in the precedent-setting case "Dog Bites Man." "Now don't give me that eye." Losing plaintiff Oscar Croydon refused to concede defeat in the case, vowing, "I'll take this to the highest ratings bracket in the land if I have to."

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