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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Calvin Johnson Says He Played 2012 Season With Broken Heart

DETROIT—Months following his record-setting 2012 campaign, Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson shocked football fans Wednesday, revealing that he played much of last season with a severely broken heart. “A certain someone banged up my heart pretty bad, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me from doing what had to be done,” said the Lions wideout, who last year caught 122 passes for an NFL record 1,964 yards while reportedly suffering from the chronic pain and anguish of having his heart torn out and shattered into a thousand pieces. “Sure, it makes it difficult to perform when you’ve had your heart trampled on by the one person who told you she would always be there for you. It really hurts, but when a situation like that arises, you just gotta play through it, you know?” At press time, Johnson added, “Lilah. Oh, Lilah, Lilah, Lilah.”

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