Calvin Johnson Says He Played 2012 Season With Broken Heart

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Vol 49 Issue 21

3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over

WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in said weekend dwindling away at an increasingly rapid pace even as you read this news articl...

Obama Vows To Wind Down War On Terror

After more than a decade of war, President Obama stated yesterday that the U.S. should limit drone strikes, close the Guantánamo Bay detention facility, and repeal the Authorization for Use of Military Force that was enacted after Sept.

Timeline Of The War On Terror

0 AD–September 11, 2001: Everything fine September 11, 2001: September 11, 2001 September 12, 2001: A determined George W. Bush responds to the Sept. 11 attacks by swiftly promising two failed wars, a nearly 10-year manhunt for...
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Calvin Johnson Says He Played 2012 Season With Broken Heart

DETROIT—Months following his record-setting 2012 campaign, Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson shocked football fans Wednesday, revealing that he played much of last season with a severely broken heart. “A certain someone banged up my heart pretty bad, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me from doing what had to be done,” said the Lions wideout, who last year caught 122 passes for an NFL record 1,964 yards while reportedly suffering from the chronic pain and anguish of having his heart torn out and shattered into a thousand pieces. “Sure, it makes it difficult to perform when you’ve had your heart trampled on by the one person who told you she would always be there for you. It really hurts, but when a situation like that arises, you just gotta play through it, you know?” At press time, Johnson added, “Lilah. Oh, Lilah, Lilah, Lilah.”

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