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Cam Newton Leaves Panthers To Start Own Football Team

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Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games

In a sudden departure from their long-held stance of not being here to play games and not, in fact, having the time to play games, the nation’s hardass cops announced Wednesday they had finally carved out a couple hours during which games could be p...

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Cam Newton Leaves Panthers To Start Own Football Team

CHARLOTTE, NC—Rookie quarterback Cam Newton delivered a statement Tuesday announcing his plans to move on from the Carolina Panthers so he can start his own independent professional football team. “I want to thank the Panthers for giving me the opportunity to play for them, but I would be denying myself the chance to reach my full potential if I stayed here,” said Newton, adding that he will be using a lot of what he learned over the past six weeks as he gets his franchise started. “I’ve hit my peak with this organization. This is something I need to do.” According to Newton, he has contacted wide receiver Steve Smith to play for him and head coach Ron Rivera to help design his new team’s website.

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