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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Cam Newton Proving He Can Throw Football A Lot

CHARLOTTE, NC—With 83 total throwing attempts in the first two games of the season, Panthers rookie quarterback Cam Newton has proven to critics that he can not only throw a football, but can throw it a lot. “A big question mark in the offseason was whether Newton had the arm strength and endurance to throw the ball over and over and over again,” said NFL analyst Jay Glazer, admitting he was wrong to have doubted Newton, who now holds the record for most pass attempts by a rookie in the first two games of a season. “He’s showing a lot of poise out there—a week after throwing the ball 37 times, he went out there and threw the ball 46 times. People are already saying he might be one of the most copious throwers this game has ever seen.” Experts agree that what makes Newton a true threat is the combination of his ability to throw a lot plus his ability to move his feet a lot in whatever direction he wants.

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