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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Cameron Crowe To Release Only Soundtracks

LOS ANGELES—Explaining that his movies were but a small step in the pursuit of a career he has always dreamed about, Almost Famous director Cameron Crowe announced Monday that he is retiring from filmmaking to focus exclusively on soundtracks. "For me, the moving image has become redundant, and I believe that I can more effectively tell stories with carefully chosen music," said Crowe, backed by Electric Light Orchestra's "Do Ya." Crowe's first soundtrack, Walking With Headphones, will begin compilation later this winter for a summer release, with the soundtrack's soundtrack available on Polydor Records.

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