adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Campaign Adviser Recommends Throwing Old Blanket Over Romney For Debates

DENVER—Helping to devise the Republican presidential nominee’s strategy for his upcoming debates against Barack Obama, campaign adviser Kevin A. Hassett recommended appealing to viewers by maybe throwing an old sheet or blanket over Mitt Romney for the duration of the contests, sources reported Wednesday. “I think we just take an old quilt or painting drop cloth and throw it right over his head before opening statements. Nothing too nice, though,” Hall reportedly suggested to Romney campaign staff, adding that they could secure the edges of a tarp with rocks or bungee cords so it doesn’t blow off. “It might not cover him up all the way, but as long as it’s over his head and torso, that’ll be fine. I think viewers will really respond to that. This could be a real game-changer.” Hassett added that at the end of each debate, campaign volunteers could simply fold Romney up, drag him onto a flatbed truck, and haul him off to his next appearance.

For live coverage of tonight's debate, follow @OnionPolitics starting at 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close