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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Candidate Turns To Focus Group For Position On Rape

RICHMOND, VA– Wanting to "feel out the popular attitude before committing to a position," Virginia House of Delegates candidate Mark Earley turned to focus-group analysis Monday to determine Virginians' stance on the hot-button issue of rape. "So far, results indicate that the state's residents skew heavily toward anti-rape," Earley said. "A good 99.9 percent of Virginians say they feel strongly that the state would be a better place if rape were reduced." Earley has not yet declared whether he will adopt a hardline anti-rape stance or take a more moderate position to avoid alienating the state's estimated 35 pro-rape voters.

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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