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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Can't Go Wrong With A Cheeseburger, Area Man Reports

SCOTTSVILLE, NY—Unfamiliar with the menu at local restaurant Scully's and faced with the decision of what to order for lunch, diner Michael Cort, 25, made clear his belief Monday that one cannot go wrong with a cheeseburger. "Pretty hard to screw up one of those guys," said Cort, adding that he would be hard-pressed to remember an occasion on which he had consumed a less-than-satisfactory cheeseburger. "It's a classic. Medium-rare cheeseburger, lettuce, tomato, some fries. Can't beat it." Cort went on to advise those with him to "steer clear" of the fish fry.

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