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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Canucks-Blues Game Goes Into Extra-Puck-Time Or Something

ST. LOUIS—A recent hockey game between the St. Louis Blues and Vancouver Canucks went into extra-puck-time or something, ESPN reported Monday, after the two teams completed the real part of the contest yet continued to skate around for some time after that. "Usually they just do the beginning part, the middle part, and the end part, but this one was different—perhaps it had something to do with that man getting thrown into that icebox thing after he stepped over the blue line into the out-of-bounds zone or whatever," said Barry Melrose on ESPN's NHL 2Night. "Hard to say, really. However, this game exceeded the length of a regular hockey game by a certain length of time, possibly even several minutes. That's what makes this sport great." Melrose noted that if the score had remained tied for much longer, the game would have been settled with one of those slapshot contests or goal-offs or some other such hockey-related deal.

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