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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Cardinals Host Going-Away Party At Pope's Favorite Vatican City Dive Bar

VATICAN CITY—Following Pope Benedict XVI’s announcement that he will resign the papacy at the end of the month, a group of cardinals reportedly hosted a going-away party for the pontiff at his favorite Vatican City dive bar, The Empty Chalice, on Thursday night. “Ratzy’s had a wild ride for the past eight years, and me and the guys figured there was no better way to send him off in style than a night out at the Chalice,” a visibly intoxicated Cardinal Bishop Angelo Sodano said of the celebration at the dingy, no-frills watering hole, which sources said is renowned for its €2 shot specials and is reportedly “stumbling distance” from the 85-year-old pontiff’s private quarters at the Apostolic Palace. “This is our usual after-work spot and we’ve had a lot of rowdy times here, so tonight might get a little out of control. Hey, they don’t call this place ‘Puke-arist’ for nothing!” At press time, Benedict and his archdiocese heads had reportedly been ejected from the bar for harassing a group of young boys at the other end of the bar.

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