Carlos Lee Befriends Anthill In Left Field

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 29

Wow Factor Added To Corporate Presentation

CHARLOTTE, NC—Sources confirmed that the wow factor—an intangible set of viscerally pleasing features that instill onlookers with a feeling of exhilaration and intense interest—was successfully added to this Thursday’s upcoming PowerPoint presentation.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Business

Small Business

Carlos Lee Befriends Anthill In Left Field

HOUSTON—Upon discovering an anthill in left field during Saturday's game against the Nationals, Astros Carlos Lee reportedly befriended the colony of red ants by introducing himself to each of the insects individually. "My little ant friends are so nice and they don't get mad at me when I come over and talk to them like Hunter Pence does," said Lee, who reportedly placed his head on the ground next to then anthill to appear less intimidating to the ants. "They're my best little buddies in the whole world. They tickle the inside of my nose and give me stingy kisses." Lee held a candlelight memorial after the game to honor the thousands of ants that were tragically killed when he crushed the anthill while fielding a fly ball.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More