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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Carlos Santana Surprises Wife With Coupon For Free 45-Minute Guitar Solo

LAS VEGAS—In a spontaneous romantic gesture by the 10-time Grammy Award winner, guitarist Carlos Santana presented his wife, Cindy Blackman, with a handmade coupon redeemable for a complimentary 45-minute guitar solo Wednesday, sources confirmed. “There’s no expiration date—this one’s good anytime, babe,” Santana said of the signed certificate bordered with hand-drawn hearts and musical notes, which is said to grant the bearer “One (1) solo, either electric or acoustic, of no less than 45 minutes.” “No matter what time of day, no matter what I’m doing, just hand over the coupon and I’ll give you a solo you won’t forget.” Sources reported that Blackman then thanked her husband for the gift before adding it to the nightstand drawer where she keeps all the previous Santana-solo coupons she has received.

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