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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Carlos Zambrano's Refusal To Leave Game Enters 5th Hour

PITTSBURGH—At press time, Cubs manager Lou Piniella's attempt to remove starting pitcher Carlos Zambrano from tonight's game against the Pittsburgh Pirates had entered its fifth hour, with Zambrano refusing to be replaced by left-handed relief pitcher James Russell. Piniella reportedly emerged from the dugout at approximately 8:45 p.m. to make the pitching change, a move that prompted Zambrano to wave the reliever back to the bull pen. Zambrano then refused to give Piniella the game ball, and in the past two hours the All-Star pitcher has, with the manager standing on the mound directly next to him, attempted to throw several pitches to current batter Lastings Milledge. At 1 a.m., Zambrano was overheard saying, "I'll stand out here until dawn if I have to." Home plate umpire Laz Diaz's efforts to get the pitcher and manager to wrap it up have thus far been unsuccessful, though Diaz is now considering paying a second visit to the mound. The Pirates currently lead the Cubs 14-2.

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