adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Cartoon Peppers On Menu A Foreboding Warning To All Who Would Dare Order Spicy Entrees

CORAL SPRINGS, FL—Hovering forbiddingly to the right of several entrees, a handful of cartoon red chili peppers served as dark and chilling omens to all who would dare order spicy food items off the menu at Mexican restaurant Casa Azteca, sources confirmed Wednesday. According to reports, a single grim pepper reportedly loomed near the Chiles Relleno, signifying danger to any customer foolhardy enough to select the ominously piquant combination of battered poblanos and cheese. Sources further indicated that patrons would be wise to not even look upon the accursed Tilapia a la Diabla, which, with its baleful row of three clip-art portents, reportedly promised unspeakable woe and ruination even to those who had withstood other spicy entrees. At press time, most customers had sensibly heeded the sinister chili auguries and selected house specials marked with a cheery and comforting chef’s hat.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close