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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Cartoon Peppers On Menu A Foreboding Warning To All Who Would Dare Order Spicy Entrees

CORAL SPRINGS, FL—Hovering forbiddingly to the right of several entrees, a handful of cartoon red chili peppers served as dark and chilling omens to all who would dare order spicy food items off the menu at Mexican restaurant Casa Azteca, sources confirmed Wednesday. According to reports, a single grim pepper reportedly loomed near the Chiles Relleno, signifying danger to any customer foolhardy enough to select the ominously piquant combination of battered poblanos and cheese. Sources further indicated that patrons would be wise to not even look upon the accursed Tilapia a la Diabla, which, with its baleful row of three clip-art portents, reportedly promised unspeakable woe and ruination even to those who had withstood other spicy entrees. At press time, most customers had sensibly heeded the sinister chili auguries and selected house specials marked with a cheery and comforting chef’s hat.

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