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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Cash-Strapped Oscars To Give Out Emmys

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced Tuesday that, due to disappointing ad sales for the costly televised event, all winners at the 81st annual Oscars will receive semi-personalized Emmy statuettes. "We hope you'll still join us for the star-studded night, when we'll honor the brightest talents of the silver screen with a few refurbished Guest Actress in a Drama Series awards Sally Fields didn't collect," said Academy president Sid Ganis, who promised to save the least dented statuette for Best Picture. "Will Kate Winslet's spellbinding performance in The Reader win her television's most coveted prize? You have to tune in to find out." Ganis said he believes this and other cost-cutting measures must be taken promptly in order to prevent the Academy from defaulting on past Lifetime Achievement awards.

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