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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Castro Passes Pitching Duties To Brother While Undergoing Tommy John Surgery

HAVANA—After struggling all year with control problems possibly related to his radical delivery, lefty Cuban hurler Fidel Castro has placed himself on the disabled list to undergo Tommy John surgery on his throwing elbow, allowing Fidel's brother Raul Castro to be called up and given his spot in the rotation. "I provisionally delegate my pitching responsibilities to my brother while I recover from this minor, common, and statistically safe surgical procedure," Fidel said in a written statement. "I have full confidence that Raul will continue our successful campaign. This is not a time to let up in our pursuit of our goals. Onward to victory!" Raul, who has spent his entire professional career in the shadow of his older and more talented brother, is said to have potential as a short reliever despite lacking Fidel's raw power.

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