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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Castro Passes Pitching Duties To Brother While Undergoing Tommy John Surgery

HAVANA—After struggling all year with control problems possibly related to his radical delivery, lefty Cuban hurler Fidel Castro has placed himself on the disabled list to undergo Tommy John surgery on his throwing elbow, allowing Fidel's brother Raul Castro to be called up and given his spot in the rotation. "I provisionally delegate my pitching responsibilities to my brother while I recover from this minor, common, and statistically safe surgical procedure," Fidel said in a written statement. "I have full confidence that Raul will continue our successful campaign. This is not a time to let up in our pursuit of our goals. Onward to victory!" Raul, who has spent his entire professional career in the shadow of his older and more talented brother, is said to have potential as a short reliever despite lacking Fidel's raw power.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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