adBlockCheck

Casual NASCAR Fan Fails To Appreciate Subtleties Of Eight-Car Crash

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Casual NASCAR Fan Fails To Appreciate Subtleties Of Eight-Car Crash

WESTCHESTER, NY—Occasional stock-car-racing viewer Rob Kleindienst remained unaware of, if not unimpressed by, the strategic and mechanical intricacies of a late-race accident involving eight different drivers in last Sunday's Dickies 500 at the Texas Speedway. "Wow, it just looked like the Bud Light guy barely tapped that No. 10 car and everyone just went all over the place," said Kleindienst, attempting to describe what happened when driver Kevin Harvick's approach interrupted the airflow over the spoiler of Scott Riggs' Dodge Charger, causing a loss of mechanical adhesion that resulted in catastrophic understeer and ultimately a cascading racing incident. "It was, like, sheeeoow! Whammo! Guys flying everywhere." NASCAR officials said that although Kleindienst is certainly lacking in technical knowledge, the hand motions, facial contortions, and onomatopoeia he employed while describing the accident all met or exceeded their standards.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close