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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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CDC Attempts To Put Ebola Outbreak In Perspective By Releasing List Of Worse Ways To Die

WASHINGTON—Hoping to downplay fears of a potential Ebola outbreak in the United States, CDC officials aimed to put the disease in perspective Monday by releasing a list of worse ways to die than the infectious hemorrhagic virus. “It is understandable that individuals may be concerned by the presence of Ebola in the United States, but the general public should relax and recognize that there are quite a number of ways of dying that are, in fact, more terrible than succumbing to this disease; indeed, we were able to come up with several dozen,” said CDC director Thomas Frieden, adding that the 50-item list, which is currently available on the agency’s website, includes scenarios such as contracting leprosy and smallpox simultaneously, suffering dozens of infected bullet and stab wounds, and falling into an industrial-size wood chipper, climbing out part way, and then falling back in again. “While the public should continue to exercise a prudent level of caution, also remember that you could trip and land in a vat of caustic industrial solvent that slowly eats away at your body, or you could be sucked out of a jagged, shattered airplane window at 38,000 feet. We do not take your worries lightly, but know that there are, conceivably, more awful ways to go.” Frieden further attempted to assuage the American populace by reminding them that dying of Ebola in the United States was still a far better experience than dying of Ebola in Africa.

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