adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

CDC Study Finds Decrease In Oral Sex Among Teens When Researchers Are Observing

HYATTSVILLE, MD—A new study released Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that although the number of U.S. teens having oral sex remained high, the rate was considerably lower when scientific researchers were openly observing them. "When teenagers were by themselves, with nobody from the scientific community in the same room with them closely watching their sexual behavior, our findings indicate that 47 percent of them engaged in oral sex," CDC spokesman Miles Dalton told reporters during a press conference. "However, when the adolescents were being watched by researchers, that number dropped as low as 3 percent. Moreover, when scientists, clipboard in hand, told the teenagers that they wouldn't mind at all or be offended if they began having oral sex right there in front of them, that number rose only slightly to a still very low 5 percent." According to Dalton, the rate of teenagers willing to engage in anal sex while alone or while being observed by scientists was, in both cases, 89 percent.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close