adBlockCheck

Celebratory Jets Dump Cooler Of Soap And Water On Rex Ryan

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

Originality

Celebratory Jets Dump Cooler Of Soap And Water On Rex Ryan

BUFFALO, NY—As the clock expired Sunday in their 27-11 victory over division rival Buffalo, Jets players honored head coach Rex Ryan by dumping a celebratory orange cooler of hot, soapy water over his body and making sure to cover every inch of him with a thick, triumphant lather. "This one was all you, Coach! Your power football scheme really wore them down!" said guard Brandon Moore, who joined his fellow linemen in victoriously scouring their coach with Jets loofahs as filmy runoff from Ryan turned the sideline gray. "Those defensive substitutions were sheer genius!" added quarterback Mark Sanchez, tousling Ryan's hair thoroughly and working the soapy mixture deep into his scalp in celebration. Minutes later, when Ryan got his team's attention in the locker room to tell them they now had a share of first place in the AFC East, the Jets celebrated by popping the corks on bottles of bubble bath and hosing down their coach yet again.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close