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Celebrity Smell-Alike Sweats Just Like Alec Baldwin

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Celebrity Smell-Alike Sweats Just Like Alec Baldwin

TOPEKA, KS—Friends, family, and workout partners of Ted Granding stated this week that the 35-year-old paralegal is a dead whiffer for popular film and television actor Alec Baldwin. "Seriously, if Ted and Alec came back from jogging together, you wouldn't be able to smell them apart," coworker Paul Eastman said. "I've seen people spin around because they think Alec Baldwin just walked in, and then look around the room in confusion. If there were an agency for people who smell famous, Ted could make a new career out of this." For his part, Granding said he did not smell the resemblance to Baldwin, though he claimed that from certain angles he smells like a cross between Sam Rockwell and Sigourney Weaver.

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