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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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CEO Has Female Sex Organs

RALEIGH, NC—Stockholders and board members of telecommunications giant Cyntex Industries were startled to learn Monday that company CEO Susan Nelbman has both female genitalia and engorged mammary glands. “This is a startling discovery,” Cyntex Vice President Myron Tanner said. “But in these enlightened times, we accept the freakish deformities of Mr. Nelbman, and will not discriminate against him based on his ungodly effeminate appearance.” According to company physician Hal Steohen there is no medical explanation for how a man could develop such characteristics. Nelbman, who sometimes dresses in skirts, has issued a company-wide statement explaining that she is not a man, but a woman. Board members, according to Tennenbaum, “had a good laugh at down at the gentlemen’s club.”

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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