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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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CEO Has Female Sex Organs

RALEIGH, NC—Stockholders and board members of telecommunications giant Cyntex Industries were startled to learn Monday that company CEO Susan Nelbman has both female genitalia and engorged mammary glands. “This is a startling discovery,” Cyntex Vice President Myron Tanner said. “But in these enlightened times, we accept the freakish deformities of Mr. Nelbman, and will not discriminate against him based on his ungodly effeminate appearance.” According to company physician Hal Steohen there is no medical explanation for how a man could develop such characteristics. Nelbman, who sometimes dresses in skirts, has issued a company-wide statement explaining that she is not a man, but a woman. Board members, according to Tennenbaum, “had a good laugh at down at the gentlemen’s club.”

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