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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Change In Bus Seats Taken Personally

ST. LOUIS—Bus passenger Dan Pohl was offended by 26-year-old fellow rider Lana Peters Monday when she moved from the bus seat beside him to a seat closer to the door. "What? I'm not good enough to sit next to?" Pohl thought. "Go on and move then." Peters was unavailable for comment, as she exited the bus at the next stop. 

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