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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Charlotte Bobcats Still Practicing For Some Reason

CHARLOTTE, NC—Despite being only a week away from the end of a season in which they have lost more than 50 games, the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats are, for reasons unknown at this time, still meeting regularly to practice. "As far as I can tell, they were eliminated from the playoffs some time in February," Bobcats practice facility security guard Fran Kirkland said Thursday, noting that the team has already secured the league's worst record of the season. "But they still show up here with all their equipment like it's business as usual, pass the ball around, run shooting drills, even break a sweat—I swear to God." Sources close to the Bobcats were unable to confirm if there is some sort of league rule that requires teams to practice or if Charlotte is simply preparing to play some other sport that uses practice drills similar to those employed in basketball.

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