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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Chase Utley Takes Seventh-Inning Stretch Too Seriously, Report Teammates

PHILADELPHIA—After Monday night's game against the Florida Marlins, several of Chase Utley's Phillies teammates told reporters that the All-Star second baseman might be growing "obsessed" with stretching properly and singing in key during the seventh-inning stretch. "He insists that if you don't stretch every major muscle group at that exact moment in time, you risk pulling something," said shortstop Jimmy Rollins, who claimed Utley often forces the entire team to re-sing "Take Me Out to The Ballgame" if they don't perform the song in correct four-part harmony the first time. "Give me a break, man. I don't always feel like eating Cracker Jacks in the middle of a game." Rollins added that he was looking forward to Thursday's game, when he plans to finally inform Utley that the "noise meter" on the Citizens Bank Park JumboTron is not real.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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