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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Cheetos Social Media Team Arguing Over Whether Tweet In Chester Cheetah’s Voice

NEW YORK—Raising their voices in a heated debate over conflicting visions for the fictional animated spokescharacter, members of the Cheetos social media team reportedly argued late into the night Wednesday about whether a proposed tweet was in Chester Cheetah’s voice. “Chester would never say that,” said visibly agitated social media manager Stephen Newton, who expressed strong objections that the tweet was inconsistent with the public image and complex personality Cheetos has carefully cultivated for the cheese-obsessed, sunglasses-wearing cartoon cat since his inception in 1986. “Come on. You know that Chester would not say the word ‘snacking,’ he’d say ‘snackin.’ Chester is a smooth, cool cat. This tweet is not smooth or cool.” At press time, sources confirmed that a team member had angrily stormed out of the room after a younger colleague accused him of being part of Cheetos’ “Old Guard” and unwilling to accept a more cutting-edge direction for Chester Cheetah.

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