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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Cheetos Social Media Team Arguing Over Whether Tweet In Chester Cheetah’s Voice

NEW YORK—Raising their voices in a heated debate over conflicting visions for the fictional animated spokescharacter, members of the Cheetos social media team reportedly argued late into the night Wednesday about whether a proposed tweet was in Chester Cheetah’s voice. “Chester would never say that,” said visibly agitated social media manager Stephen Newton, who expressed strong objections that the tweet was inconsistent with the public image and complex personality Cheetos has carefully cultivated for the cheese-obsessed, sunglasses-wearing cartoon cat since his inception in 1986. “Come on. You know that Chester would not say the word ‘snacking,’ he’d say ‘snackin.’ Chester is a smooth, cool cat. This tweet is not smooth or cool.” At press time, sources confirmed that a team member had angrily stormed out of the room after a younger colleague accused him of being part of Cheetos’ “Old Guard” and unwilling to accept a more cutting-edge direction for Chester Cheetah.

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