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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.
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Cheney Celebrates Earth Day By Breathing Oxygen

WASHINGTON, DC—At a special Earth Day event Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney inhaled his first-ever breath of oxygen. "I am…proud to stand before you today and…breathe in the same gas used by…millions of Americans," said a wheezing and gasping Cheney, whose body is accustomed to compounds of chlorine and sulfur dioxide. "One breath, however, is enough for me. I'm glad the stuff will be out of the atmosphere forever in a few decades." Cheney then left the press conference to attend a cardiac health awareness dinner, where he feasted on human hearts.

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