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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Cher's 'Believe' Now Faintly Audible Everywhere In America

GREAT SALT LAKE DESERT, UT—Building upon its presence in every health club, supermarket, bank, clothing store and waiting room in the U.S., Cher's "Believe" was heard Monday by bauxite miners working 1.4 miles beneath the Earth's surface in a remote section of the Great Salt Lake Desert, confirming suspicions that the hit dance track is at least faintly audible everywhere in the nation. "My miners said they heard a throbbing synthesizer sound, accompanied by some sort of painful, piercing wail, coming through the granite walls at the bottom of the shaft," said Wilson Mining Works foreman George Connerly. "So we turned off the turbine-powered pressure drills to get a better listen, and, sure enough, it was that Cher song." The ubiquitous "Believe" was also recently heard at the peak of Alaska's Mt. McKinley, in the farthest reaches of Kentucky's Mammoth Cave, and in the middle of a swamp deep within the Florida Everglades.

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