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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Chicago Blackhawks Relatively Silence Boston Fans

BOSTON—In a thrilling conclusion to the NHL Finals, the Chicago Blackhawks defeated the Boston Bruins in Game 6 of the championship series Monday night, securing the Stanley Cup for Chicago in a stunning win that hockey analysts agreed somewhat silenced Boston’s typically vocal fan base. “Having to watch the Blackhawks hoist the Cup on the Bruins’ home ice really quieted this crowd, to the extent that these people can be quieted,” said ESPN hockey commentator Barry Melrose, adding that after the final horn sounded in TD Garden, you could just about hear a pin drop, in a sense. “This defeat has left Bostonians at a loss for words, comparatively. After last night, something tells me we won’t be hearing a peep out of Bruin diehards for at least a few seconds.” When contacted by reporters, Boston residents more or less declined to comment.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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