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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Chiefs Accidentally Win Again

SEATTLE—In yet another victorious slip-up that baffled players, coaches, and fans alike, the Chiefs accidentally defeated the Seahawks 42-24 Sunday, inadvertently outplaying their opponent by scoring more touchdowns. "We have no idea what even happened, because on most of the plays we didn't even mean to score," quarterback Matt Cassel said of his team's unintentional dominance of the game. "I tried to throw the ball away at least three times, but it kind of floated and ended up in Dwayne Bowe's hands. It must have startled him, too, because he started screaming and running with the ball towards the end zone as fast as he could." During the postgame press conference, players on the Chiefs' defensive line apologized to the Seahawks for frequently tripping and falling on top of their running backs.

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