Chiefs Realize Brady Quinn Received 'Frog And Toad Are Friends' Instead Of Playbook

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Vol 48 Issue 36

Area Woman Dumped On 15-Week Anniversary

TACOMA, WA—Insult compounded romantic injury Saturday when local boyfriend Charles Pond not only broke up with Karen Brunhoff, the woman he has dated since last spring, but reportedly “had the nerve” to dump her on the couple’s 15-...

New Zipcarp Service Offers Short-Term Carp Rentals

BOSTON—Announcing its plan to offer short-term, affordable carp rentals for urbanites and college students who don’t own a carp of their own, Zipcarp Inc. launched a brand-new fish-sharing service earlier this month.

NFL On Fox

Fox 12:00 p.m. EDT/11:00 a.m. CDT In the empty, darkened studio, Terry Bradshaw waits quietly for someone to josh with.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Chiefs Realize Brady Quinn Received 'Frog And Toad Are Friends' Instead Of Playbook

KANSAS CITY, MO—Dismayed Kansas City Chiefs personnel told reporters Monday that backup quarterback Brady Quinn had mistakenly received a copy of Arnold Lobel's children's picture book Frog And Toad Are Friends instead of the team's 54-page playbook. "Brady kept talking about how he spent hours each night poring over the book and memorizing the diagrams in it," Chiefs head coach Romeo Crennel said of the Caldecott Honor book, which is designated level two in the "I Can Read" series and is intended for "readers who are increasingly confident, but still need some help." "It wasn't until he started telling little stories in the huddle about coat buttons and ponds that we realized something was up. He does seem to have learned some important lessons about friendship from the book. He's more communicative on the field, and he's sharing the ball better, but he's much further away from being game-ready than we thought." At press time, Quinn was preparing for Sunday's season opener against the Atlanta Falcons by carefully studying footage from the second season of Yo Gabba Gabba!.

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