adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Chiefs Scold Fans For Cheering Brady Quinn

KANSAS CITY—Several Chiefs players spoke out Monday about the cheering that occurred in Arrowhead Stadium when quarterback Brady Quinn replaced the injured Matt Cassel, expressing their utter disbelief that Kansas City fans would openly applaud the former Notre Dame signal caller. “That’s just sick, you know? People don’t do fucked up stuff like cheering for Brady Quinn,” said Chiefs tackle Eric Winston, adding that human beings simply don’t roar with approval when a terrible player like Brady Quinn enters the game. “You cheer for a touchdown, a field goal, or even when a player you don’t like gets hurt, but you don’t cheer Brady Quinn. It’s basic human decency.” Winston also told reporters he was extremely embarrassed to be playing for a team with despicable fans that would give Brady Quinn a raucous ovation.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close