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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Chiefs Scold Fans For Cheering Brady Quinn

KANSAS CITY—Several Chiefs players spoke out Monday about the cheering that occurred in Arrowhead Stadium when quarterback Brady Quinn replaced the injured Matt Cassel, expressing their utter disbelief that Kansas City fans would openly applaud the former Notre Dame signal caller. “That’s just sick, you know? People don’t do fucked up stuff like cheering for Brady Quinn,” said Chiefs tackle Eric Winston, adding that human beings simply don’t roar with approval when a terrible player like Brady Quinn enters the game. “You cheer for a touchdown, a field goal, or even when a player you don’t like gets hurt, but you don’t cheer Brady Quinn. It’s basic human decency.” Winston also told reporters he was extremely embarrassed to be playing for a team with despicable fans that would give Brady Quinn a raucous ovation.

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