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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Chiefs Scold Fans For Cheering Brady Quinn

KANSAS CITY—Several Chiefs players spoke out Monday about the cheering that occurred in Arrowhead Stadium when quarterback Brady Quinn replaced the injured Matt Cassel, expressing their utter disbelief that Kansas City fans would openly applaud the former Notre Dame signal caller. “That’s just sick, you know? People don’t do fucked up stuff like cheering for Brady Quinn,” said Chiefs tackle Eric Winston, adding that human beings simply don’t roar with approval when a terrible player like Brady Quinn enters the game. “You cheer for a touchdown, a field goal, or even when a player you don’t like gets hurt, but you don’t cheer Brady Quinn. It’s basic human decency.” Winston also told reporters he was extremely embarrassed to be playing for a team with despicable fans that would give Brady Quinn a raucous ovation.

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