adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
End Of Section
  • More News

Child Slavery Gives Area Activist Something To Do With Her Evenings

BOULDER, CO—The scourge of child slavery, an abhorrent practice affecting millions of exploited children under 12 worldwide, has given local woman Jenny Slocum, 36, something to do with her Tuesday and Thursday evenings. "Most Tuesdays I would end up just moping around the house, anyway, and child slavery's pretty awful," said Slocum, who "met some really cool people" while attending a recent meeting for Child Slavery Outreach. "Maybe next week I could host a CSO potluck and we could just hang out and talk about child slavery and stuff." Slocum said her commitment to child slavery would continue indefinitely unless the global warming people started meeting on the same nights.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close