adBlockCheck

International

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
End Of Section
  • More News

Chinese Citizens Gather In Beijing Square To Watch U.S. National Debt Clock Strike $18 Trillion

BEIJING—Celebrating the milestone with hugs, jubilant cheers, and singing, over 600,000 Chinese citizens assembled in Tiananmen Square today to watch the U.S. debt clock mounted above the Forbidden City reach the landmark sum of $18 trillion dollars. “You could stay home and watch it on TV, but it’s much more exciting to be here with people from all over the country to celebrate this momentous day,” said Beijing resident Xiao Bu, noting that he always arrives in the early morning to stake out a good location in the square every time America’s debt rises by another trillion. “I remember my father taking me to see the $5 trillion mark so long ago, and now I’m bringing my own children here to take part in the festivities. It’s really a special part of our nation’s culture.” While most revelers left shortly after the rollover, an estimated 100,000 reportedly decided to just wait around in the square until the clock struck $19 trillion.

More from this section

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close