Chinese TV Show Canceled After Drawing Only 180 Million Viewers

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Chinese TV Show Canceled After Drawing Only 180 Million Viewers

BEIJING—Hijinx Of The Masses, a Chinese sitcom about 16 twentysomethings who live above a tea shop, was canceled Monday after the series premiere was only able to draw a disappointing 180 million viewers. "We were aware that the show would be competing with dragon-boat races on ESPN Macau, but Hijinx Of The Masses still performed much worse than expected," China Central Television network executive Wei Xiang said. "Anything less than a quarter of a billion viewers is simply unacceptable." In order to fill the time slot left by the canceled program, the actors, producers, writers, camera operators, and everyone else associated with the show will be executed live on air next Thursday at 9 p.m.

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