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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Chinese Womens' Paralympic Team Under Investigation For Having Arms, Legs

BEIJING—After numerous protests and accusations of foul play from Paralympic athletes, especially those participating in judo, basketball, and tennis, the International Olympic Committee announced Tuesday they would investigate claims that many members of the Chinese female Paralympic team have full sets of functioning arms and legs.

"After reviewing the scores of U.S. volleyball's 25-0/25-0/25-0 three-set loss to the Chinese women, we were already considering an inquiry. But what confirmed it was how they looked on the podium together, all smiling, waving both hands, and standing on both legs," IOC spokeswoman Giselle Davies told reporters, adding that having arms and legs, especially in the Paralympics, offers a significant competitive advantage. "Unfortunately, because official documentation provided by our Chinese hosts does state that their female Paralympians lack arms and legs, there is very little chance of anything resulting from the investigation." Thus far the Chinese women have won gold, silver, and bronze in every single event except for swimming, in which American female Paralympian Michelle Phelps has won a record 36 gold medals.

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