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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Chris Berman Loudly Weighs In On Jason Collins Story

BRISTOL, CT—Following professional basketball player Jason Collins’ revelation that he is a homosexual, making him the first active player in a major American team sport to come out as gay, ESPN analyst Chris Berman reportedly loudly weighed in on the groundbreaking story Tuesday. “Ah!” screamed SportsCenter viewer David Nichols, putting his hands over his ruptured eardrums as Berman thunderously bellowed about Collins becoming the first openly gay NBA player. “What? Hello? Oh my God, I can’t hear my voice! I can’t hear my voice!” According to sources, Berman’s blaring rhetoric on Collins was the broadcaster’s most deafening since his 2009 discourse on whether Alex Rodriguez’s alleged steroid use would prevent him from entering the Hall of Fame blew out every single pane of glass on the Eastern Seaboard.

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