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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Chris Bosh Announces Plans To Spend NBA Lockout Playing Basketball Alone In Driveway

MIAMI—Heat forward Chris Bosh confirmed Sunday he plans on dribbling around and shooting hoops alone in his driveway during the NBA lockout. "I want to keep playing the high-caliber basketball I'm accustomed to, so until someone calls me back, I'll be in my driveway pretending Karl Malone is defending me and I’m on the 1997 Chicago Bulls," Bosh told reporters, adding that he'd recreate pressure-filled game situations by making crowd noises with his mouth as he played. "The NBA doesn't seem like it wants to work out a deal, so I hope other players will join me. I mean it; guys are welcome to come over anytime. I've got cold Gatorades in the fridge and video games for when it gets dark. Please, someone, come over." Bosh reconfirmed multiple times that the backboard on his hoop is, in fact, Plexiglas, "just like a real NBA one."

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