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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Chris Bosh Announces Plans To Spend NBA Lockout Playing Basketball Alone In Driveway

MIAMI—Heat forward Chris Bosh confirmed Sunday he plans on dribbling around and shooting hoops alone in his driveway during the NBA lockout. "I want to keep playing the high-caliber basketball I'm accustomed to, so until someone calls me back, I'll be in my driveway pretending Karl Malone is defending me and I’m on the 1997 Chicago Bulls," Bosh told reporters, adding that he'd recreate pressure-filled game situations by making crowd noises with his mouth as he played. "The NBA doesn't seem like it wants to work out a deal, so I hope other players will join me. I mean it; guys are welcome to come over anytime. I've got cold Gatorades in the fridge and video games for when it gets dark. Please, someone, come over." Bosh reconfirmed multiple times that the backboard on his hoop is, in fact, Plexiglas, "just like a real NBA one."

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