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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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Chris Bosh's Frightening Night Locked In A Hot Car

Police were called to a Miami-area nightclub late last night to respond to reports that Heat forward Chris Bosh was left alone in a hot car for hours while his teammates LeBron James and Dwyane Wade partied inside, without a thought to their highly-paid sidekick. Experts are now saying that the Heat are likely to lose custody of the vulnerable Bosh, an outcome made more likely by the duo's history of neglecting Bosh and their other teammates. Here are some of their most notorious incidents of neglect:

  • Center Zydrunas Ilgauskas gets tangled up in a camera cord during a game against the Bulls and nearly strangles himself because no one was watching him.
  • Sharpshooter Mike Miller misses 30 games when Wade forgets he promised to drive Miller to the stadium and Miller gets lost on a city bus.
  • Bosh almost drowns in a closed hotel pool one night after midnight when James and Wade go out without him and Bosh climbs out onto his balcony.
  • The fire department has to be called when Mario Chalmers climbs out onto the rafters in the American Airlines Arena for attention but is too scared to climb back down.
  • Left to his own devices during a six-game homestand, Udonis Haslem eats nothing but soda and candy and has to be taken to the hospital and have his stomach pumped.
  • After James and Wade tell Bosh to "quit bugging us and look after yourself for a change," Bosh goes two weeks without bathing because he "doesn't know how."

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