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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Chris Brown's Agent Suggests Suicide Could Be Great Career Move

LOS ANGELES—Citing the positive impact it would likely have on the R&B star’s image, SavMedia publicist Erica Sandoval reportedly suggested to Chris Brown today that taking his own life could be a “really smart move” at this point in his career. “Just think about it: you’d double your base and you’d instantly make a lot of people very, very happy,” said Sandoval of her inspired plan for Brown to promptly shoot, poison, or hang himself to restore a modest piece of the public’s goodwill and boost record sales. “It’s a bold move, sure, but I think it would really get people on your side. You would be so much more appealing. Besides, it’s always a good idea to give the people what they want.” Sources confirmed that Sandoval ended the meeting by offering to help out in any way she could, either by pulling the trigger herself or by setting up a pay-per-view livestream feed of the suicide.

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